My boy has discovered something. It was quite a shock to him, and as he sees more and more of it, he seems to be more and more shocked- and I get more and more pushback. Are you ready to know what it is?
Here it goes: I am more than just his caregiver. He has discovered that I, indeed, have a blog. He now knows that I like to hoop dance. He has found out that I have friends that he doesn’t know. He has heard more of my sense of humor. He has seen me make faces and learned about some of my interests. As his maturity grows, I have been able to work on my goals- and it confuses him.
Recently, when I joined an online coaching seminar, I was informed by my dear one that I am “always at international conferences or doing work”. In reality, I participate in a webinar about twice a month, and spend up to a couple hours a day working or studying. Most of the rest of my time is spent on my house or family. I had to talk with him about the reality of how I spend my time and the importance of people working toward their own goals. This conversation frustrated me a lot.
Then I remembered: he is not used to this. He is used to having almost all of my attention due to poor behaviors and me not managing my own time well. I have to train him to accept not being the center of my attention all of the time. I will have to continue to help him to understand that me working does not make me love him any less. It doesn’t mean that I’m done spending time with him.
Me spending this time working means that I am investing in a better life. It means that I am investing in others to try to help them. It means that I am refusing to waste the resources, wisdom, and grace that have been extended to me. It means that I not only love him; but also love who God made me, and am embracing my purpose- which enables me to love him better.
Yes, I have less time to focus my attention solely on him through the day. Yes, I am working on things that don’t directly build his life. However, I am helping him and myself by pursuing my goals. I am helping him understand that he is a piece of my life, but not all of it- and that’s good for him. He needs to know this so that he can pursue his goals without guilt, and so he can let furniture friends and family do the same.
I pray that through this process we learn to spend quality time together instead of taking large quantities of time for granted. That we continue to talk about things more openly so that we can grow in the healthier relationship that we have been building. I am excited about where our lives are headed. I am grateful for the time, energy, and determination that I have to start working toward what I have been called to. More of the desires of my heart are coming into my life. Now, I just have to teach my dear one that that doesn’t mean he is forgotten. It just means that I want to spend better time with him- not just more.
Do you struggle making time for your goals? What are some dreams that you have allowed to wait while you do other things for other people? Is now the time for those hopes to be brought to life? Comment below, or email me to share your story at caregiverskeeper@yahoo.com!
Disclaimer: The author is not a professional in child rearing, psychology, therapy, coaching, or any other field discussed. The information provided is strictly written in good faith sharing the author’s private experience, not personal advise for readers. Any use of any information provided is at your own risk with no guarantee that readers will have the same results as are shared by the author, either negative or positive. Caregiverskeeper.family.blog and affiliates will not be held responsible for any consequences of use of any information provided. You can see more on the disclaimer page from the site’s home menu.
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